Anxiety disorder ruining life.?

It definitely sounds like there is more than depression going on.With all the changes happening around you,it can make for a very difficult situation that you are living in.I myself went through anxiety,panic attacks,and felt what you are feeling right now when I was the same age.I am on medication for anxiety,Xanax, as I write this,which has helped.It seems like you need to truly have someone to talk to as well.I know everyone suggests medication or doctors,but those are ways of dealing with it.I pray all the time,when I feel the anxiety building into a panic attack,or when I am severely stressed,and it sounds like you are at the boiling point right now.Do you write in a journal,or go to church? I watch it online as well to help me out and it does help.I care alot,having a daughter who is going through similar feelings,only I can't help her being 650 miles away from her.You may also have OCD,Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,I also have that.It usually starts with one issue and builds up.The issues that you have are issues within our brains that we can not control.I know you don't want to hear about medications,but they stabilize the part of the brain that normal people have plenty of.It's called Gaba,think of it as little plus and minus signs that fill holes.You're mind doesn't make them,so the medication does.There is no other way to help that in people like us.I care about you and don't even know you,God cares and loves you too.I will be praying for you.It seems like you need to be in a different house for some time in order to get the help and get away from everything around you,which can be the cause of alot of it.Read the last link,at the top right,there is information about teens and mood issues.Hope I was able to help you.